Hello Beautiful Souls,
Today’s a topic of conversation has highly affected me this week. As I take a moment to reflect, I look back to my journals when my anxiety started flaring and reached its peak what happened and what caused it?
I shared something that deeply affected me. Most people whom live in the Western World with immigrant parents have also experience similar issues. I shared why it was a problem and how does it make us/me feel. This experience was a shared statement as a collective and I received many messages from "thank you for giving me a voice and addressing something I cannot”, to “I'm sorry and thank you for educating me".
When I first typed the statement, it was not intended to be a "TOPIC of DISCUSSION". It was, and still is a "STATEMENT”. I was looking to have space held and acknowledgement for what has occurred & how it still effects many of us today.
However, my statement triggered somebody and they had the need to educate me on my experience and culture. They had a need to tell me their experience and then tell me it is not something they believed I experienced. They asked me to apologise for my social media post as made them feel uncomfortable. When I refused, the person then felt the need to judge my character.
I booked an appointment with my therapist and she helped me understand what happened in that moment. Some posts are going to make others feel uncomfortable. If you feel uncomfortable because of something you see on social media try to put yourself in the shoes of the poster and imagine how this has effected them. Ask yourself: have I become part of the problem rather than the solution?
Now can anyone else reflect what happened... let me guide you.
I triggered someone; it made him or her feel uncomfortable. Instead of working through why it made him or her uncomfortable they had the need to compare and required me to hold space for them when I was not ready to do so. This made the triggered human even angrier because I refused to hold space for them. In fact I needed space held for me, hence the statement I shared.
I can admit I have done the same previously before seeking therapy. Through therapy, I can understand my triggers and manage it better. I no longer POP off like a pocket rocket in someone’s comment section or DM’s.
The internet is a big wide space. You are free to choose what you like to consume and what topics of conversation are important to you. You cannot ask someone to apologise for a statement they shared due their experience. You simply acknowledge and support or UNFOLLOW and move on. How I choose to use my social platform is for me to decide not you!
I have concluded… we are all hurt humans. Most of us are just trying to get through and some have invested time to heal generational pain and trauma. When we share personal experiences most of the time it's not up for conversation, but rather for someone just to hold space for us, when the other person attempts to try and educate in that moment it is a disaster. We feel unheard, silenced and just like our experience did not matter. We need to be more aware of when a statement is a conversational piece or when it is simply a statement. We are not all Zen humans, things hurt us, as humans need to allow others to talk about their experiences. When we do not allow for this it means we bottle it up and this is what causes many to have mental health conditions and then project our insecurities and pass on generational trauma.
The quote "check in with your inner child" is appropriate here. As when we trigger and get emotional this links back to our inner child not heard or belief system challenged. The child in us is screaming to be acknowledged in that moment. Our belief system has a crack in it all of a sudden. As adults, we cannot fall on the ground and have tantrum as if a two year old would, so instead we use our words and sometimes our fist. So next time you trigger ask yourself what, is my inner child telling me?
Let us all for once learn this...
Now this blog post is a conversational topic, you may ask or come to your own conclusions, share your thoughts below. Have you experienced this issue?
How did you handle it, did you personally attack and then attempt to educate them?
As you reflect now, did they post based on their experience?
Can see how it was a statement rather a discussion and did you hold space for them or did you then want someone to hold space for you?
Love Always xx